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In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm! -Sean Morey
For 100 years,Reader’s Digesthas shared some of the world’s best wit and wisdom on the art of living. To markReader’s Digest‘s 100th anniversary in 2022, we searched our archives and collected 100+ quotes that we think will continue to stand the test of time. The dates in parentheses represent when they were first published in the magazine. For more quotations for every occasion, check out our other compilations, which include funny quotes, life-changing quotes, uplifting quotes, and life is short quotes,
2. “My father gave me the best advice of my life. He said, ‘Whatever you do, don’t wake up at 65 years old and think about what you should have done with your life.'” —George Clooney(July 2006)
3. “Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing.” —Katherine Mansfield(April 1941)
13. “Nobody ever sees his own face in the glass. What he observes there is a compound, divided into three parts: one part himself as he really is, one part representing what he expects to see, and a third part, what he wishes to behold.” —Richard Burton(June 1940)
18. “Ideals are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands. But, like the seafaring men on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them reach your destiny.” —Carl Schurz(April 1941)
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